The Bro Code

The Bro Code is a book for all bros around the world (like a Bible).
Here, I'll be posting some of the Bro Code articles!






Article 1 : Bro’s before ho’s
The bond between two men is stronger than the bond between a man and a woman because, on average, men are stronger than women. That’s just science.
Did You Know…
Article 1 can trace it’s genesis all the way back to Genisis. No, not the Peter Gabriel/Phill Collins pop triad, but the biblical book. The discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls has unearthed a once-lost passage that documents the earliest infringement of The Bro Code.
Book Of Barnabas 1:1
And everything of need was provided in that Garden. Fruit, water, companionship. But one day, Adam came upon a naked chick, Eve, and desired her olice leaf. And so Adam wenteth behind and apple tree to know Eve, totally ditching his Bro, Phil, who had Knicks tickets, Courtside. Long story short, humankind became self-aware, paradise was lost, and well, we all know what happened to the Knicks.
genesis-bible-book-of-moses





Not-StupidArticle 2 : A bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.
Note: Had Butch Cassidy come charging out of the cabin alone people would have been like, “Dude, come one”. If only one Spanish dude had decided to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, people would’ve been like, “Dude, come one”. If only Tommy Lee had worn eyeliner in the early day of Motley Crue, pleople would’ve been like, “Lady, come one”. The license to be stupid is why we have Bros in the first place.


Article 3 : If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown
COROLLARY: Naming a lapdog after a pro wrestler or a character from a Steve McQueen movie does not absolve a Bro from the spirit of this article.
tiny dog with huge bone
bro-code-bookArticle 4 : A Bro never divulges the existance of  The Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be shared with chicks for any reason… no, not even that reason
Note:
If you are a woman reading this, first, let me apologize: it was never my intention for this book to contain so much math.
Second, I urge you to look at this document for what it is – a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience though the prism if stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we’re from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within. *Those boots are adorable, b-t-dub.

No comments:

Post a Comment